Sunday, July 05, 2009

Why Adulterers?

A number of individuals have, over time, expressed curiosity over my outspoken disapproval of adultery. My diatribes significantly precede the advent of Facebook. Back in college, I suggested a symposium on "The Virtues of Temperance and the Evils of Adultery." Back when I was in the Ph.D. program--in the days before strong computer security--I instituted a screen saver in the Department computer lab with the message "Adulterers are the scum of the Earth." Officially, the origin of that banner message was undisclosed, but some people probably had their suspicions. Unfortunately, zealous prudes are few and far between.

Most reasonably people would probably agree that adulterers are disgustingly sinful psychos, but a lot of reprehensible characters fall into that category, so that still leaves the question of why one would want to target adulterers with special zeal.

Cynics might suggest that having never been married, there is little risk in my targeting this group. There are, however, probably a large number of other scumbags I could target without running a risk of hypocrisy.

When first asked, I suggested that one reason for this target is that adulterers are likely to be so afraid of getting caught that they would be unlikely to raise suspicion by retaliating. That, of course, is a reassuring consideration, but hardly the whole story.

A more reasonable explanation might be that although I can intellectually absorb studies that show that a significant percentage of individuals commit adultery at least once during their lifetime, emotionally accepting that real people would do something so stupid in large numbers just doesn't happen. Yes, I know I am naive. If I didn't actually see a large number of people smoking, I would have difficulty believing that they would do something that stupid, too.

Studies have apparently found the incidence of adultery over a lifetime to run somewhere between 10-25% in the U.S. There is a question of as to the accuracy of these findings and, at the risk of stereotyping, rates are likely to be even higher in less morally conscious countries such as France. Some scumbags may deny their wrongdoing or attempt to come up with some rationalization why their contemptible transgressions are "not really" adulterous actions. Other individuals who are misguided enough to want to shock an interviewer or otherwise project a bad image--but not quite reprehensible enough to actually engage in this despicary--may falsely claim to have committed the transgression.

It is very difficult to understand why real people are willing to succumb to the temptation given the disastrous consequences that may result if they are caught. The fear of punishments keeps most people from engaging in various types of criminal activity. Why are the bozos in denial of the potential consequences of being caught engaging in philandery but not in denial of the likely punishment for counterfeiting, disturbing the peace, and murder?

Supposedly, there are only about thirty serial killers in action at any one time--not to say, of course, that those psychopaths can't do a lot of damage--but it is still a very small group. I am fully intellectually aware that the ranks of adulterers is much larger, but accepting this as "genuinely" true is another matter.

There is safety in attacking a largely non-existent group.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Selected Final Exam Questions

Below are selected final exam questions from my Marketing Fundamentals (BUAD 307) course. Enjoy!

  1. Based on the conceptualization of price that we discussed in class, which of the following are ways in which USC could increase the price charged to its students for education?

    1. Increasing tuition rates.

    2. No longer offering free skateboard parking in classrooms to students.

    3. No longer providing free library access.

    4. Both (a) and (b).

    5. All of the above.


  2. Which of the following are ways in which graduates of USC can show their appreciation?

    1. Making contributions to the university specifically designated for marketing faculty salaries.

    2. Recommending USC to their brainy friends while encouraging those less intellectually able to attend UCLA.

    3. Writing online reviews praising the quality of faculty at the Marshall School of Business.

    4. Remembering USC generously in their wills.

    5. All of the above.


  3. Becky is an avid hunter. Although she would like to have a pink pickup truck, she will only consider trucks that come equipped with a gun-rack. Becky:

    1. Is making her decision based on collaborative filtering.

    2. Is experiencing a “chicken-and-egg” problem.

    3. Appears to be using compensatory decision making.

    4. Appears to be using non-compensatory decision making.

    5. None of the above.


  4. A straight A student at UCLA would be more likely than a C- student at the Marshall School of Business to:

    1. Use the term “etc.” and/or profanity in papers, presentations, and exam answers.

    2. Gossip and/or surf the Internet during class.

    3. Ditch classes with impunity.

    4. Both (a) and (c).

    5. All of the above.


  5. Hip Hop Health Nuts, a musical group, has recently released a new exercise music CD entitled Fanatical Fitness Fun. Lyrics of the songs extol the virtues of Brussels sprouts and the evils of high fat foods and couch potatoism. Since the group’s fans appear to be too zealous to be overly price sensitive, it has been decided to price the CD at $129.99. Which of the following factors would favor Internet sale of this product?

    1. The value-bulk ratio.

    2. The need for customization.

    3. Reduced labor costs from not having to go through retailers.

    4. Both (a) and (c).

    5. All of the above.


  6. The Sushi Chefs’ Association advertises that although the taste of raw fish may be repulsive, eating it makes one look sophisticated and helps one empathize with the Japanese people. This is an example of:

    1. The PRIZM system.

    2. A “chicken-and-egg” problem.

    3. A two-sided appeal.

    4. Collaborative filtering.

    5. All of the above.


  7. According to the text:

    1. Personalization, time savings, loyalty, and technology are trends that are leading to increased use of customization in target marketing.

    2. Psychographics is based on personality, motives, lifestyles, and geodemographics.

    3. Christopher Columbus discovered Europe.

    4. Both (a) and (b).

    5. None of the above.


  8. The Geeky Girl Scout Group (GGSG) is mostly into virtual, online meetings. When the group actually meets in person, members always bring along GPS systems and wi-fi equipped laptops. Recently, through extensive online collaboration, the members have developed and patented a system for fitting clothes to an individual based on accessing photos on his or her web site. Because of the advanced design of the system, it is believed that it will take many years before others will be able to offer a system that works as well. Based on this information:

    1. The GGSG should be extremely worried about the phenomenon of “sticky” prices.

    2. The GGSG may want to consider the use of a “skimming” pricing strategy.

    3. The GGSG’s technology appears to be in the “maturity” phase of the Product Life Cycle.

    4. Both (b) and (c).

    5. All of the above.


  9. The Central Advertising Agency is interested in assessing the effectiveness of a thirty second advertising spot. Two areas of concern are (1) how much attention viewers seem to give to the ad and (2) where on the screen the viewer looks at various times during the ad. Of the following research methods, which would be most suited for this purpose?

    1. Conditional branching.

    2. Focus groups.

    3. Physiological measures.

    4. Projective techniques.

    5. Scanner data.



Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Joy of Judgment

If you have not had a chance to check out my recent Facebook status updates, you might enjoy the following pontifications:
  • Adulterers who park in front of fire-hydrants while committing their evil deeds deserve to have their cars impounded!
  • Communist serial killer adulterers are even more reprehensible than "run-of-the-mill" adulterers.
  • Adulterers should be retroactively denied Halloween candy and should be forced to pay back historical "trick-or-treat" spoils with compound interest!
  • Adulterers should stop their evil ways and devote the rest of their lives to doing good deeds in repentance!
  • The world would be better off without communists, tobacco, alcohol, adulterers, and raw fish.
  • Ditching classes with impunity is a morally repugnant practice indicative of serious character deficiency, lack of dedication, and unmitigated sloth!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

My Grandmother Was Geekier Than Your Grandmother!

My grandmother passed away peacefully yesterday at age ninety-six. As a member of a family of proud eccentrics, she was certainly a character. She was also quite geeky for her age--and for someone of any age, for that matter.

My grandmother read the news online. This gave her an opportunity to read the Danish newspapers in their entirety immediately rather than just getting the small weekly international edition by one of the Danish papers by mail a week later. She did, however, subscribe to the printed newspaper, but that was strictly for use by her dogs. Ironically, my grandmother was a journalist in her youth, and I can't imagine she would have wanted her own articles to receive that treatment.

Earlier, in her eighties, my grandmother had taken up the Internet and became involved in online forums. So far as we know, she never and an online affair--even after my grandfather passed away nine years ago--but maybe that just shows how much we know. She liked to share with the rest of the family the intrigue that took place between the participants in the online communities. My grandmother was among the early adopters of broadband. Before that, she had a second line for her AOL dial-up. Otherwise, her phone line would have been tied up too much. My grandmoter never expressed much nostalgia for her oldfashioned electric typewriter. She was, by the way, among the first to get an IBM Selectric back in the 1960s.

My grandmother was an avid photographer who enthusiastically switched to digital in her late 80s. It was a certain relief that she was now less dependent on those incompetent photo developers, most of whom failed to meet standards. Never mind about the old days when there wasn't much that could be done after the photo had been taken. My grandmother was a huge Photoshop enthusiast who liked to sharpen and otherwise alter her photos. Although she might have been able to teach these courses herself, my grandmother took a number of online photo courses. She worried a great deal about how many of her photos would be selected as a "Photo of the Week" from among those submitted by all students. She was usually hugely disappointed if only one or two of hers--as opposed to all the ones she submitted--were chosen. She was intensely aware--and highly critical--of her unworthy rivals. My grandmother did not subscribe to Photoshop Fanatic, but that probably has more to do with the reality that no such magazine exists than it does with lack of interest.

Over the years, my grandmother acquired a large number of cameras as new features emerged. Patience in waiting until the new models became available was not my grandmother's strong suit. Those online retailers not among the first to stock the newest cameras could forget about my grandmother's business. Many members of the family became the beneficiaries of the "obsolescence" of cameras acquired a year or two earlier. Still, the newer cameras frequently failed to meet expectations, becoming a disappointment.

My grandmother didn't bother with old fashioned paper invitations anymore. For her yearly birthday celebration, we were all invited by e-mail.

My grandmother did encounter certain computer frustrations. She was not shy about throwing files away. My mother would often receive very frustrated calls from my grandmother about computer malfunctions. It often turned out that my grandmother had dragged important program files into the waste basket, oblivious to any consequences this would have. As it turned out, of course, the consequences were usually minor since her daughter would come to bail her out. As a last resort, my grandmother also did have her laptop, but making do with a puny screen was somewhat of a comedown for someone accustomed to twenty-four inches.

Toward the end, my grandmother did acquire an iPod. You may wonder what held her back for so long. How, after all, can one be a true geek without an iPod, or at least some other respectable MP3 player such as Zune? Unfortunately, my grandmother never had great hearing even in her yournger days, so her interest in audio devices was limited. She did get an iPod when she was bedridden toward the end so that she could look at photos. Limited hearing might explain why my grandmother never used her cell phone much. Still, I have to admit that I have no satisfactory explanation why she never acquired a Blackberry or an iPhone with Internet features. Perhaps the buttons were just too small. Had this problem been overcome, she might very well have taken up texting.

Like it or not, my grandmother was geekier than your grandmother!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Partial solution of the California budget crisis

It occurred to me that if we moved UCLA to Bakersfield, a great deal of cash could be generated by selling the land on which that institution is currently located. This land could be replaced at a much lower cost in its new and more appropriate location!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A lonely man driving a taxi

For some time, I have been trying to find out who sings the song wherein a man bemoans the fact that "The nights are still so long." There is also a reference to seeing something or someone "in the crowd." It was unclear to me exactly what, but the singer definitely appeared to state "Sometimes I think..."

Typically, when I hear a song that I want to identify, I run whatever phrases I can decipher and remember through Google to find a match. That, however, did not work the first few times around for this one. I asked the person behind the counter at the Yoshinoya Bowl if he knew the title of the song when I recently heard it there while having my trademark spicy combo. He did not.

Fortunately, I did hear the song last week-end, and I finally learned that the song featured Train. The title was "Cab." Apparently, the driver sometimes thought that he was "the only cab on the road." I ordered the CD from Amazon. It arrived yesterday. While I took a bit of a break from grading final papers, I played the song over numerous times.

This reminds of of the old days when I was a freshperson or sophomore in college and got into the habit of playing Genesis' song "Man on the Corner" over and over again. This story is in the third person, but otherwise, there are certain similarities. This was back in the old days of cassette tapes (or turntables which I rarely ever used). There was no automatic repeat feature, so I would manually rewind the song each time. This really frustrated my sister who did not have the same fondness for hearing the same song over and over again.

To some extent--and with some variations--there appears to have been at least a partial repetition of history.

Old habits die hard, especially for old eccentrics.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

A little good news...

Buried among all the negative economic projections is a story in the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/06/technology/business-computing/06blue.html) reporting that IBM Chief Executive s Samuel J. Palmisano will suggest in a speech "technology-fueled economic recovery plan that calls for public and private investment in more efficient systems for utility grids, traffic management, food distribution, water conservation and health care." Economics, commenting on the idea, cite New Deal programs such as rural electrification, bringing about lasting economic growth. Sounds like a way to go!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

33% of survey respondents "hate" Michelle Obama's dress?

A Los Angeles Times blog today discusses Michelle Obama's fashion tastes and, in particular, her election night dress. In a survey--clearly not a representative one--47.9% of respondents indicated that they "loved" the dress. Considering the fact that Michelle Obama will probably the cutest First Lady in history, that is undertandable. I can also understand the 18.1% who indicated indifference and the 1.1% who did not see it--despite the prominent photo in the blog. What I don't understand, however, is the 33.0% who "hated" it. The dress is in perfectly decent taste. Do these respondents reflect individuals so caught up in partisanship that they can't recognize elegance when they see it? Does it make them, perhaps, uncomfortable that the spots are too similar in color to their own necks?

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/alltherage/2008/11/michelle-obama.html

Friday, October 31, 2008

Whoa! Are sunscreen sales increasing in Arizona?

There is talk in the Obama camp that Arizona's electoral votes may now be within striking distance on Tuesday. This assessment may be a bit on the over-confident side (although it would be rather hypocritical for the McCain camp to suggest that). Still, I wonder if an increasing number of Arizonans are becoming conscientious about using sunscreen on their necks.

"Trigger" treating

Nowadays, spoiled brats in Denmark reportedly get to celebrate not just Halloween but also a rather similar event named Fastelavn which happens sometime around February. When I lived back in the old country, there was only the traditional Danish event--but that was bad enough. Children get to dress up in obnoxious costumes. Historically, this day was apparently related to the onset of the fasting period,but you would not know it from the words coming out of the bratty mouths that day. Children get a collection of special branches--albeit not quite in the league of Singaporean canes--with which they are allowed to "whip" their poor parents out of bed. In an impudent jingle, they sing out "If I don't get any biscuits, I am going to wreak havoc!" The biscuits, here, refer to special biscuits similar to American raisin rolls. Despite these misdeeds, the children are not sent to bed without dessert or even denied television privileges. They weren't even in the old days. Well, at least they do not need to come knocking on people's doors, disturbing poor innocent neighbors. They are given candy on their canes.

Anyway, when I first came to the United States, I heard of children's Halloween extortion techniques before I saw the term written, so at first I thought the practice was known as "trigger" treating. After all, a lot of children's costumes included toy guns and other intimidating devices, so the idea sounded logical.

If you prefer not be to be disturbed in the future--or if you believe that limited exposure to candy will help build character--you may want to hand out homework assignments rather than candy this year. Children may not remember to do their chores or homework on a daily basis, but the experience of being assigned additional work may be traumatizing enough for the brats to drill into their not particularly pure minds the importance of skipping your home next year.

Well, at least my nephew Thomas--who is really into costumes--will enjoy Halloween. He apparently added a number of new costumes to his already abundant stash several months ago in anticipation of today's event. He may deserve the treat since he is rarely, if ever, sent to the Principal's office. In fact, my sister and brother-in-law don't usually do not have to struggle with the question of whether to chew him out since he reportedly rarely, if ever, misbehaves. Apparently, he actually does his homework without having to be threatened with loss of computer time. Actually, Thomas probably won't be all that aggressive in extorting candy since his grandmother will almost certainly give him all the candy he wants anyway, so he probably won't be that much of a pest to the neighborhood. I wish I could say the same of other children.

Friday, October 17, 2008

News?

CNN today reported that a man had put dog excrement on his neighbor's truck. I realize that this may be sensational, but is it really news?

Suppose that, around the world, 200,000,000 live in such surroundings that, realistically, they might have a neighbor who could have a truck. Then assume that one out of every thousand of these people might be a whacko who might do something--if not the exact same thing--of equal disgustitude once in their lifetime. If these whackos each live an average of 70 years, they will live an average of 27,920.5 days (including the added days provided by leap years).

Now, dividing the 200,000,000 population by the whacko factor of 1,000, we get 200,000 "critical" whackos. Dividing that number by their average lifespan in days, we get an estimae that 200,000/27920.5 = 73.01 events like this would happen every day.

My assumptions might be a little off, but even if I am off by a factor of 10, would something that happens 7.3 times per day be "news?"

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us ... NOTHING?

The very rotten psychopaths who want to de-planetize Pluto are really sending our school children a very demoralizing message! As I have remarked before, with Pluto being by far the most eccentric of the nine original planets--original since 1930 anyway--this is really a thinly veiled sligh at eccentrics.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Brain washing poor school children

My sister related how my poor nephew, Thomas (who recently turned five) came home and insisted indignantly that Pluto is no longer a planet. How can the schools feed the poor children such garbage? It is grossly unjust that today's school children have become the unwilling pawns in the battle between the rotten psychopaths who wanted to demote Pluto and the forces of good fighting this injustice. Why should a pathetic body like Mercury--which has no moons--be considered a planet and without granting at least the same status to Pluto which has at least three moons?

Friday, August 22, 2008

Surfing the friendly skies becomes expensive

Apparently, many airlines have begun to charge surfers who bring along their boards $300 each way for each board. Apparently, some surfers bring as many as four boards, for a total of $2,400 for the trip. Despite a protest petition signed by 14,000 surfers, British Airways has banned surfboards entirely. I wonder how long it will be before we see T-shirts with the indignant message that "Surfing is not a crime!"

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Intriguiging word choice

A Time Magazine review states: "[T]he Tumi people did their best to make the Frequent Traveler look good — it's covered in the company's signature 'ballistic nylon,' which at least sounds cool—what makes this the damn-near-perfect carry-on is it's aggressive practicality." I love the anthropomorphism!

The downside is that the MSRP for this highly touted product is $549.00.